23/queer/SU grad student
Here is the unmitigated truth:
I fell in love with you the day that we met. Ten months later you shattered my whole heart and maybe even some of your own. I hope that somewhere in between you loved me too. On bad nights I know that you didn’t. On better nights I know that I’m wrong. There is enough I will never understand to keep me in love with you for centuries.
Here is the ugly truth:
I didn’t even get to love you for a year.
Now I am wearing my broken heart like the first time I got my period in public. I am frantically redecorating my house so that the shadows will remember whose name is on the lease. I am frantically reclaiming my body. I want to remember what is mine without lying about what is still yours. I know I said you couldn’t come back, but there is still a place for you between my lungs and my stomach. My reflection still reminds me of you. I don’t know how to make any of it stop."